Discouraged

It's been a longgggg time since I've written in here.  Since the last time, I've participated in the Disney Princess half marathon, the nike virtual 10k and I did the DASH 5k two weekends ago.  Disney was nothing short of a disaster.  It was hot and humid and I just plain felt crappy.  I made it 9 miles before I got picked up.  I've never felt more conflicting emotions at one time than I did at that moment.  Disappointed because I didn't finish, which was embarrassing, but relief because my body was just flat out done with that race.  I've also never felt more sore after any kind of exercise than I did after that race.  Awful.  The nike 10k was ok, but not great.  We did intervals and I was ok at first, but after a while miles again I just felt kind of blah.  Fast forward to the DASH ...I started out pretty good there.  I wasn't very far behind my sister and Cait, until at the turnaround some nasty woman plowed me over.  After that I was sore and just deflated.  It seems like every race just gets worse and worse with it's obstacles.  That being said, I think for now I'm done with long distance.  I was really excited to be a runner.  I wanted to love it, and I'm pretty disappointed that I don't.  The more I attempt it, the more it feels like torture to me.  Maybe it's because I'm so heavy.  That sounds like a cop out, but I honestly feel like I might have better success if I attempted the long distance goal after I've lost some weight.  I'd still like to do the 5ks, I do think they're fun...but, for now I'm laying distance off of the table. I'm never going to see results if I keep doing something I don't remotely like at all.  I think I need to focus on things I know I like and can do and work on improving them.  For now my goal is to improve my 5k times.  I'd like to see how fast I can get at completing them.  I think I'd also like to go back to zumba.  I really did enjoy that every week, I'm not really sure how I fell off of that wagon, but I need to get back on board with that.  I also found these two month long challenges today (squats and abs - i'll post pictures of them at the bottom in case anyone wants to give them a shot).  I just need to do SOMETHING.  I can't live my life unhappy with myself, and thats definitely where I'm at right now.  Here's to hoping the next time I post that I can post a happy update seeing improvement - wish me luck!